Life is never simple 

Life is not about only good things …. It is also about things…which you never expect….

My life is just going through some phase…which I have never expected … although today I am independent … but I feel very much disappointed.

It is because; my all imagination about a wonderful life is getting shatter one by one.

I am at that point of time where I just want to relax…. But my mind is constantly working…and now it is over loaded.

You know what, I know some day I will reread my own post and smile on what I am writing.

….So now readers …if you are going to  read my post …. I am warning you … it is all about life shits…👉👉..



I do have some relationship goals.

Do you ever want to rewind your life…. I do….means I want to rewind it many times.

But obviously it’s my realistic natural life which is not a drama ….so it won’t change.

These days I am so much busy that I don’t have time to curse my boss or anyone. I am just busy with my work…and my self…but there are so many situations happening around me that I wonder why???  Like; Bakara banane main hi meli.

Ok …so here it goes…. (But before reading further ….post …. I would request my new readers to please read my earlier post to understand … my situations)

My last post was about a kiss…yes! Yap ….I actually, wanted to kiss him….but I am holding my dirty mind to myself only…..

Please click👈


To read full post….

Complete 25 years of life

I am getting older ….
And some times I feel life sucks.

I don’t feel very happy today…..
Well !  I feel bit sad…., because life is changing …
I am getting older ….
And some times I feel life sucks.

This month is very special for me ,but as I have said earlier I am not as much excited as I used to be in  previous years of my life.
I have started living separately from my family… And I miss them… It’s all  because of my job and adjustments through which I have to go.   For few days I asked my parents to come and stay with me …but they can’t stay with me always. I have to become   independent they say…
And I have to go through this loneliness …sometimes things feel good and sometimes frustrated.

I have to live and survive… I have to enjoy what is actually life is about.

PS: I want to become independent woman… But I don’t know how to face problems… alone.
I want to ask every independent woman out their…. about their experiences …please do reply if you read.

Being girl

Being girl is never a weakness they should know.

I was walking through the path,
When they saw me,
a girl and weak ,they thought !
They pass some comment ,
I didn’t gave much attention though;

But will this happen everyday,
i don’t think so.
I am not weak ….
Being girl is never a weakness they should know.

सबकी अपनी किस्मत

उसने ऐसी बातें बताई अपने बारें मे, की मैं हैरान हुई। फिर सोचा हर किसीकि अपनी किस्मत होती हैं।

मैं बस में रोज़ की तरह अपनी मनपसंद जगह पर बैठी थी। बस का Driver बस से उतर कर बाहर चाय पीने गया था और   बस Conductor  सवारीयॉ तलाश रहा था।  तभी एक लड़की  मेरे आगे वाली सीट पर बैठ गई  और अपने समान को सीट के नीचे रख दिया। बस के बाहर खड़ी औरत ने उसे खुदा हाफीस(  Goodbye) कहा। उसने भी जवाब मे Urdu ज़बान से अलविदा कहा।


लड़की ने फिर मेरे ओर पलट कर देखा ।उसने पुछा -“आपा किधर जाओगी?”
मैने कहा-नसरूल्लागंज ,तुम कहाँ जा रही हो? उसने कहा- “हम भी वहीं जा रहें हैं। आप आगे आजाओ ना ,यहाँ कोई नहीं बैठा।” पहले तो मुझे अजीब सा लगा , मैंने सोचा क्यों मैं एक अंजान लड़की के पास बैठूँ। फिर सोचा यहाँ बस में कौन हैं जो मुझे जानता हैं। इसलिए मैं आगे जाकर उसके साथ बैठ गई।
धीरे धीरे और भी सवारीयाँ बस मे आ गई। वह लड़की बड़े ख़ुशी से बस के बाहर देख रही थी जैसे उसे वहाँ से जाने की बहुत खुशी हो। उसने मुझ से पुछा -“आपा आप भोपाल से नसरूल्लागंज किसे मिलने जा रहें हो?”
मैंने उसे बताया की वहाँ मुझे नौकरी मिली हैं और मैं रोज़, पिछले दो हफ्ते से इस बस से काम पर जाती हूँ ।
“इतनी दूर काम पर !” उसने हैरान होकर कहा।
“हाँ,काम पर” – मैंने जवाब दिया।
“नौकरी करना हैं तो आना जाना करना पड़ता हैं।”
फिर उसने कहा – “आप ने तो बहुत पढ़ाई भी तो करी होगी। हमें तो पढ़ने का मौका ही नहीं मिला।”
उसने ऐसी बातें बताई अपने बारें मे, की मैं हैरान हुई। फिर सोचा हर किसीकि अपनी किस्मत होती हैं।
वह मेरी तरह ही अपनी मंज़िल तलाश रही हैं ,बस फ्रक इतना ही हैं कि उसे तरीक़े नहीं पता पर लड़ना जानती हैं। और मैं सब  जानती पर लड़ना मुझे नहीं आता।
PS :- It’s my first post in hindi. Well I hope my hindi gets improve.

New life

New life ,new job

Life is full of surprises ….

Now here is my monthly update… … (March)

Many times we think nothing new is happening ….. And you think life is so boring. But then suddenly everything changes … would you be able to accept those changes?

This is happening with me….

If you have read my blogs earlier  , you might have read that – I was unemployed …. Which means I didn’t have job . But last month I cleared a job interview. And now I am accepted for job…  Yes I am going through my first job jitters. I am very much in confusion about everything….. Well, I am going to join a new place. Become part of new work family. But I am still nervous about it.

I have to face new challenges…… and my biggest challenge is Hindi language. Yes, I can speak it and also write it.  But I am not fluent in it.

The second biggest challenge is accounts…. Yes, I have to work in accounts department  ….. One of my weakest subject or I should say “the subject which hates me ”.

And the third challenge is I am the only female  staff officer … other than sweeper. This means, they (staff members) would not fully understand my problems.

I know things are going to change … and I am going to learn new things. I have to prepare… but I can’t forget how I am. What’s my nature is , I am still that 24 year old pampered  daughter  of my father and mother. I am still that lazy bug of my sister … I am still that crazy idiot girl of my colony. I am still that amateur digital painter. I am me….and how could I change.

Ps: _ I am suddenly feeling so grownup.  I am having some new responsibilities.  But  I am preparing for it.

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Till fifth grade we girls wore baggy bloomers ,getting rid of those baggy bloomers was really like feeling grown up.

Sometimes when you spend much time in religious activities you started being thoughtful. Your thoughts can be moderate but your lifestyle remains same.being nun2
Catechism changed my spirit of beliefs. At times I started imaging myself like nun.

But it’s not your imagination that changes your character; it’s that circumstances that you go through. In those days I was also going through some new changes of my life. I was keeping my first step in womanhood.
There are things which you can’t ask your father; there are things you hide from your brother. There are many things which female species have and male don’t understand. When I got my first period I was just playing with my dolls and doll house.

Yes, I am talking about the changes that every person go through ,when they realize they are growing.
I felt little pain in my abdomen and it started. I was already aware that –kabhi Na kabhi toh ye hona tha. Because at those time the moral values class was unofficially turned into physical and mental education class. Even it turned out into most interesting class of those times. The girls discuss every physical change they experience during recess with their friends. I although trying to be ignorant because its sign that you are growing which I never wanted to be.
My mother and sister were keepers of my secret. They started escorting me at times of period like I was holding something underhanded. One day they told me its womanish thing and a universal secret. I don’t mind it at all but there were times like I felt offended of being girl.

They were like:-
• Not eating pickle ant touching pickle bottle.
• Not to play with male group especially at that time. ppperokl
• Not to talk about your body problems openly.
• Don’t wear miniskirts.
• Don’t play in open area.
• Don’t keep your hairs open.
So many things prohibited that I protested some times.
I was not going to be nun that was for sure because I can’t survive these prohibitions, how will ever I follow their rule regulations. I was questioning why I have to grow so fast. My brother never had these problems as he was a boy. I know every human being go through physical changes sooner or later but like every girl I had many difficulties in accepting this universal truth. Especially the truth that young woman should be shy, do all household work and man / boy do all outside work and enjoy their life without having pain in abdomen.
I have also started noticing my body transformation both outer and inside. One the funniest things that happen were sudden change in my undergarments (underwear) actually…
Till fifth grade we girls wore baggy bloomers …but after these periods and womanhood thing happened, my mother bought for me new panties. These are general things now, but at that age getting rid of those baggy bloomers was really like feeling grown up. Especially when you study in girls convent school you can’t escape uniform checking, because they even check what you wear inside. Sometimes you really feel embarrassed when they see what color bloomer you wear.
I was enjoying the new woman hood era I was stepping in. But sometimes the guidance I get from our elders like mother, sisters, aunties etc they real terrorize my mind like early pregnancy / teenage pregnancy due to unsafe sex, rapes, etc and all hidden secrets of womanhood.

Today when everything is so modernize, I know girls have become more conscious of these changes. They take more care about it and every latest version of information that once I don’t have in my time, i.e. 10 yrs before. I have even heard that C.B.S.E schools had made compulsory physical education class rather I should say sex education class for teenager to make them aware of sex diseases like STD, AIDS etc. But during my days only science class and internet was our information source.
PS: – These are changes that every girl goes through; we should not feel ashamed of what we are. This is how God made us. Periods and womanish things are still not discussed openly at some places. A lot taboo is made on girls. I have gone through it all and still facing it. But you know I am proud of whatever gift God has given me.