Things have changed …life review.

Hello reader, it took me long time to write something ethical….

Well! I am very much busy these days because it’s financial year ending. Many of you might be thinking what connection I am having with finance, so let me remind you that I am still working as trainee accountant….. And yes! I am still stuck…..although I don’t hate my job now….because now I have got use to it.

These days i am living alone…. and I don’t have a single human being around me  during times when I need them…. I am actually talking about my family and friends.

I don’t know what feelings are as I have turned into a robot who knows only about her works…

But I am enjoying this alone solitude time…..because no one cares whether I am sleeping or awake…..whether dying or living …I can do anything ….even dance naked !(just kidding…..but its truth )

I am living on my own….still lazy…..in cooking. (The reason I still want my mother to be with me is food because… I can’t cook well.)

These days music is my best friend…..it still helping me to survive.

I listen and download a new tracks everyday…. and I have become huge fan of Asian dramas which include Japan, Taiwanese, Thai, Korean Indian mix videos are my favorite…. Korean/Thai actors are really very cute and handsome….

I have prepared a list of series to see every day during my spare time…

  1. Full house Korean/Thai
  2. Playful kiss/ kiss me
  3. My little lover
  4. The girl and three sweethearts.

And there are more to watch….

Now about my personal love trouble….

I can’t love someone more than myself…I have learn this about myself…..

Going through one sided relationship doesn’t give much more than pain.

Although this time it was not hard because I was not serious from very beginning … I have already told vikas….my first preference is my career and my family which exactly same from his side for his family and himself.

I didn’t have much chance to know him…and yes! I am not ashamed to take his name….no code V this time.

It was not a serious  kind…of l0ve relationship…..just a trial date….which took….five years to understand that we couldn’t go together.

I know he will be annoyed ….but now who cares…. I am already a spoil brat.

I know describing your personal relationship in public is highly immature and a big stupidity…. but you know what ….my heart is really itching ….and I can’t control.

He compared himself with someone who was….

I can’t disclose…much ….it my fault and I am taking blame on my self….

I believe him as good friend…. and may be after reading all these things he may not consider me as one.

I do not hate him ….it’s that things have not gone far between us and I am thankful….

My last poem “thank god we never kissed” was dedicated to him….

PS…By the way vikas….if you are reading this….. I am sorry for mentioning you in public.

BigBigBigBig Big  Sharks and  a tiny fish.

You don’t ,know when your words cuts your own neck !

Have you ever thought what it is to  “live , like a fish”…?  

Well I too.. have never thought…,how fish live its life…only I used to sing that nursery rhythm – “Maachli jal ki raani hai..and jivan usaka paani hai”

But if ; now I want to give a metaphor about my current life situations…I find nothing more better than a fish life.

These  days I am struggling a lot. Some times I ..even feel helpless…. Like a fish who have to live in ocean with all kind of dangers.

I am that kind of tiny fish who have to fight and swim hard for it survival…. There are lot of Sharks   in my world… Who are danger and I have to use tricks to save my self….

There are friendly fishes too…. But unless we don’t have to fight for same food…   

Most of you  will not understand what I meant when I am saying these things-“unless you are working in corporate business office or in Govt. Offices.”

You don’t know  what  running in other persons mind when they approach you…until you see their true interest.

I have to think too much before  speaking up….

You don’t know, when your words cuts your own neck !

PS:- The best part is I am learning….even though somethings are tough. But it also mean I am becoming strong because no other options are left.

Facing world

Hello! To everyone who reads my blog.

Today I thought to write about my life updates…. Well! I already know it’s not so interesting….but then it’s not so boring….. (Currently I like how it’s feels.)

Earlier I used to worry because I was jobless… Unemployed… And now I have a job…(not my favourite one) …. But at least  I have job.

I don’t get much time for myself…. No much writing, no animation…no making new friends.
But then I know how it’s feel to be alone…. Responsible… And being surrounded by lots of unknown people. 
Knowing how to deal  with them…. Facing gender difference. (Working among 24 men and me as only female.)
I don’t talk much in office… Just official work.
Having no human being who listens to your problems really feels sad, but I pray to God… It’s like talking to your inner self… To get solutions .
I have started being practical….
Its like facing real world… facing your problems.

while traveling from home to office i enjoy view of mountains and forest… yes, i travel everyday from proper develop city to an undeveloped town.
but then it bring change in atmosphere… bringing me near to nature…
sometimes I feel that i should carry a canvas and brushes to paint those landscape I see every day. it’s peaceful and natural. the most enjoying part is music… i never take off my headphones from my ears when i am in bus.. listening to my favourite music tracks.
and this is how i am living my life.

image

Here are links to my 5 favourite tracks
kabhi jo badal
kasak uthi mere mann
jeena jeena
kuch kam
kyun
PS:- I know how music help us to survive.