Do you ever want to rewind your life…. I do….means I want to rewind it many times.
But obviously it’s my realistic natural life which is not a drama ….so it won’t change.
These days I am so much busy that I don’t have time to curse my boss or anyone. I am just busy with my work…and my self…but there are so many situations happening around me that I wonder why??? Like; Bakara banane main hi meli.
Ok …so here it goes…. (But before reading further ….post …. I would request my new readers to please read my earlier post to understand … my situations)
My last post was about a kiss…yes! Yap ….I actually, wanted to kiss him….but I am holding my dirty mind to myself only…..
And I am the good example of it…
A few months back one of my friend introduced me to her boyfriend. Her boy friend is smart but not as smart and handsome as my boy friend. Yes, we girls have bad habit of comparing each other; may be not in front of each other, but mostly at each other’s back.
So, she and her boyfriend look cute together and I am happy for her, but more than that I am jealous.
The reason behind my jealously is very typical, and one of the main cause behind my emotional breakdown nowadays.
Whenever I meet them, I can see how beautiful couple they are together. I wonder how these lovebirds live their life smoothly, and then I feel much more anger toward my own relationship with my boyfriend…..
It’s not that we fight, but the thing is we hardly talks…
Even though our relationship is much older as compared to my friend and her boyfriend’s relationship, but still we don’t share much intimacy like theirs.
I have tried to talk to my boyfriend …even gave him some hints.
I told him stories of some successful relationship and how it work, but he is like least interested sometimes.
I am going through a very emotional tragedy in which I myself is a villain. I am confessing it; yes I have done it, to get attention. The attention; which I don’t want from the world, but only from my love.
The second reason for my jealousy is that hug. You know when we are in relationship and sometimes in close friendship, we often hug each other. It’s the way to show your love… a touch to another human being.
I never had that touch with my boyfriend, that kind of affection ….. Sometimes I think he is shy, but sometimes I think he is afraid. In country like India showing your affection to your lover in public places is strictly taboo. I am not saying him to display it in public. But at least there are other ways to make someone realize that they are special.
When I saw my friend having all these pleasure, I am jealous.
My boyfriend never does that for me… and this makes me more frustrated.
So, this time I am giving him last chance. Well this is also a last chance for me also to be in love, after this I will never ever dare to love again.
PS:-We all had one such friend whose life makes us feel jealous. I am trying to sort some things in my life ,which are valuable to me. And when I see someone who is having that enjoyments which I wanted in my life then obliviously I feel jealous.
Love is not an easy thing to do ….. Sometimes there are sacrifices, a lot of drama and sometimes you have to take tough decisions.
When we enter in a relationship…it asks more commitment than you have ever thought in your life. Getting in relationship is easy part, but to maintain it and following it to ultimate level of love is the toughest part.
When I was in love this was the most difficult question that always came in my mind… what after that…certainly the next stage is not marriage (its middle level when love gets mature enough).
So, what’s before marriage and after love..?
It is actually being in commitment to that love you had for the person you love.
It was the thing …which puts in lot of doubts in my mind….
After listening too many love stories which include both real and fictions …. I couldn’t come to any of conclusion.
So here is one of a story based on episode told to me by my friend.
The story is about a girl Naina and her commitment with her love. Naina was very smart and intelligent. She came in Bhopal for her higher education. While pursuing her college education Naina met a boy who was studying with her in college. They started liking each other. Naina was from a family whose beliefs were traditional. She already knew that she cannot seek future with the boy she loves. And now she cannot look back…. They were committed to each other and were together for three years. Naina thought she will continue her post graduation degree while doing a part time job in Bhopal. She took this decision so that she doesn’t have to get apart from her lover. Although the boy she loves never talks or discusses anything related the future they seek or anything related to being together. After Naina had completed her post graduation degree, she easily got a good job in Bhopal. But it was the fate that played its game. The boy she loves went away from Bhopal and said he couldn’t return because his family is having some kind of crisis. Naina did wait one year and half for the boy in hope that he will return. She also calls him often but there also he didn’t reply much except that he loves her but couldn’t be with her. Naina family has started pressurizing her to return back home and do marriage with the person of their choice. She is totally heartbroken. She is committed to the love of a person she cannot have future…
Conclusion: – Many of us had fall in love with someone we cannot be with ….. It doesn’t mean that we can stop loving them. Yes, it’s difficult to stay truly committed to that one relation …but thing which matters is love and being with one you love.
PS: – I didn’t write what happened in end… whether Naina returned her home to her family or not. It’s actually that Naina is a modern woman who is independent and having well salaried job … do you really think she will return home to her family… Just for getting married to the person she doesn’t even know.
Firstly I want to clear that this is not my story….it is about a person whom I have known from last 8 years. He is a random guy who is never seen serious and is kind of person I would never respect.
If you ask my opinion about him I would say –I never liked his behavior because of the kind impression he had on me is not good. But still today I thought to write a post about him so that I could make others understand that – how human behavior change with time and position.
I also want to explain that why I am writing about him because I need some people like this person himself who didn’t understand my perception that we should understand and respect individual choice and views. Let call this person as X. (I don’t want to mention his name because it could cause lot of mess)
So here is his story –
A few years back X proposed his high school classmate but his classmate rejected his proposal because she thought that X is highly immature and unfocused about his career. I have also heard that when X got rejected he cried lot and was pleading for his puppy love .Which is unbelievable to think ,that a person like X can do. But the girl rejected him very rudely. I felt bad for X because I can understand how it is to be rejected in love.
When we were young ….specially when we were teens these kinds of things are common. But we hardly forget; who our first love was and we still feel the pain of rejection.
So now X have also forgotten that rejection and now have moved on with a sweet girl. Even though I have never met her I could say her sweet and ignorant because she is with X (A kind of person who is not worthy of her). When I heard this ,I was eager to know how this thing (event) actually happened that a sweet girl fall for a person like X. Even though I am surprised with their relation ,I respect and salute the girl for accepting a person with all his demerits and merits.
For success full relation it is necessary to accept your partner’s drawbacks and if you respect him / her; it doesn’t matter what others think about you and your relationship.
PS :- X is lucky that he got a girl who accepted him ….but it is also X responsibility to put all his effort to main their relationship .(the future is unpredictable )
One thing more I would like to say that people like X always point on others and make jokes on other without understanding that earlier they were in that similar position or could be in that position. It is easy to comment and go , but it is difficult to accept the reality and show .
I know that I don’t have so many followers or readers who actually read my blog posts. (It’s an ugly truth). The reality is who cares? I am not offended. Everyone is busy in dealing their own life’s problems. And it’s difficult to get someone who read ,hear and understand your thoughts.
I want to thank God for making those brainy minds that brought up these technologies so that we could express our thoughts through these social media sites like face book, twitter etc.
But there was a time when we don’t have this technological advancement and a time when we wrote actual letters.
There was such time in my life when I was very lack behind in technology and I use to write letters and notes, because at that time I didn’t have access to internet or mobile phones.
So here mystory of letters…
Some of you might have already read about some of the previous episodes of my life when I was blind folded in my passion of love. After being rejected so many times I still believed my crush would show some interest in me, but instead he mocked about me at my back. One day my sister heard him saying things about me and to clarify the truth she confronted me about my feelings. I was forced to deny my feelings as she warned me to stay away from him. For some time I pretend I don’t feel it but how much I could fake …. Secretly I keep news feeds about him like what he does? Where he goes? Whom he meets? And who is he dating etc, etc… (Just wanted to know he is single or dating someone.)
One day I thought I should say sorry for all my deeds like stalking him and behaving awkward in front of him, so that I could give a fresh approach without expecting anything like affection or reply from him …
I wrote a letter note apologizing it to him… and what happened was unexpected. He actually accepted it.
This was his first positive response I ever got in my lifetime. He said he understand how it feels being rejected.
I was really very happy. It felt so good and light, actually I felt happier because even with those crooked handwriting of mine he understood what actually I means to say him. More than that I thought I got someone who actually reads my words… my feelings.
PS:- Writing is an art …. And I never say I am expert in it. I just write what I feel whether anyone like it or not . I do it for my own pleasure and satisfaction.