Guilty in love
अधूरी मोह्बत http://anelife16.blogspot.com/2017/01/blog-post.html
why this idiot boy don’t understand ?” .
Christmas night Short love story(in hindi)
(for हिंदी रीडर click the लिंक)
Everyone were Dancing and Singing with happiness. It was Chirstmas night.
They both were dancing hand in hand , matching beat to beat. And Suddenly a romantic song started playing , thus they separated themselves from dance floor. GIRL moved to a corner and sat on a chair, BOY moved and stand beside her. GIRL asked BOY to come closer with help of indication. As the boy bend closer and put his ear near girl face so that he could hear her , She said ” I love you” and very lightly her lips touched his cheek . The Boy said “I think I am getting more mad after dancing.”As if he didn’t heard what she said and he moved to dance floor once again.
The Girl saw him moving in dance floor and thought “why this idiot boy don’t understand ?” . And she too moved after him in dance floor.
In real you don’t exist.
I never got chance to hold you.!… To say “you are mine!”
Never got chance to “To just rest my head on your shoulder and cry…. Or pull your ears and laugh!”
Never ever I have ever hug you like my own personal toy…
Because you were never there…. You were just … My imagination!
In real you don’t exist!
My life is turning into drama… Where I don’t know what next is going to happen…. Its so unpredictable! And I don’t know what I should do about it.I don’t have single close person who could just hear me…
So this is what actually happen….
In one of my previous post title one sketch and my thoughts . I post about- how my thoughts are occupied with thoughts of a person(lets call him- AT for less confusion.) I was editing /drafting that post …2 days before my birthday.
(so obviously I don’t know whats going to happen on my birthday.)
Everybody have some expectations on their birthdays…. But my only expectations was people who are close to me remember my birthday.. Without the Facebook alert/notification…
And I did got wishes….. AT was one them who wished me…
I was like “OMG ! He knows my birthday date…”
When I was expecting birthday wishes from many persons I didn’t expected him ..
I know …how wrong i was about him…I mean …I can’t change our past. But I also know…things are not same now.
I started comparison…. Comparison between AT and the person I am secretly dating..for 4/3 year. (lets call him Vx ).
Vx was not able to wish me because of some reason. I was really upset…
I was Questioning about my commitment! “Is Vx is right person for me? ” ( The fact is I am
still questioning…. Because we have not talked for months ) ” does he care, if i don’t talk to him?”
And nowadays Vx is totally absent from my life…
I want to talk to him , want to make him realise my frustration . But then I know he will not stop me from going away…because i have tried it many times…and every time I was the one who comes back to convince !
The fact is this time i am not even bothering him(Vx)…for keeping up this relations … Even if it hurts ,which is better than feeling sorry for yourself later.
Sometimes i feel maybe its my fault, because i am too much obsessed with AT ….that i didn’t able to give time to Vx.
I also feel that long distance relationship doesn’t last long unless ,both persons give their 100% efforts.. To maintain their relationship.
i am too much confused…
I don’t want a relationships where i have too break someone heart or someone breaks my hope( because my heart is already broken twice 💔💔)
So this time my questions to my reader…..
- Have you ever been in this Type of confusion where you don’t know what you should do?
- Have you ever misunderstood situations between you and your partner?
- If yes, how do you solve your problems ?
- What does it take to maintain a good relationship between you and your partner?
- If given chance do you want change your past mistake?
- Will You easily quit and move on ? ( I tried this once… But I am still there!)
- Will you break up easily, if you find .. Your life with your partner is not going anywhere,? Or you put more efforts… To make it work,
PS :-Many of my well wishers suggested me that I should not discuss my personal problem in social sites… These well wishers don’t see my point of view.This blog is actually about my life . I write blog post about those stories which actually happen in real life... Situations which can happen with anyone…
Well! I don’t care if people feel offended. I am not writing for them. I am doing it for myself.
For my satisfaction…
So, I don‘t think I should explain more to them…
He was just a Crush
About my Sundays.
It was Sunday …. A usual Sunday. Which mean Sunday Mass and prayers.
But for me it also meant a glimpse of someone…. Yes! It is also a chance where I could see him. I know I have moved ahead …. Which means I am not at all affected by those feelings… But still !…its like that ….if I could see him.
Even though I am afraid… If I got caught staring him… I know he will ignore…
“Dress normal… You are going for prayer”. This is what I said to myself.. “You are not going for seeking attention.”
And then after a while… When Mass get over… And people coming out of church. I wait….
I wait …if I could see him in this crowd..
I search for his face… In groups of people.. Every where…
But what if he has not come ….
What if he has gone early… What if …..etc etc
And then I console myself …it’s good that I was not able to see him… You don’t feel anything … Why to be sad... He was just a Crush…
PS:- Some times Sunday bring lot of memories… Specially I miss those Sunday class…. Although I was not sincere at that time….
This post is not about just one person…. It all about that time… and memories.**** post updated on 11-9-16