मैं जो तुमसे कहना चाहती हूं भाग 2

कभी कभी ऑफिस में गड़बड़ हो जाती है पर मैं संभाल लेती हुँ। अब तो ऑफिस में भी दोस्त बन गए हैं जो मेरी मदद कर सकते हैं।



प्रिय दोस्त,
तो कैसे हो तुम । मुझे माफ करना मुझे ऐसे ओपन लेटर नहीं लिखना चाहिए। पर असल में मैं यह लेटर सिर्फ तुम्हें नहीं लिख रही ।तुम्हारे जरिए अपनी भावनाओं को पूरी दुनिया को किसी न किसी तरीके से बताना चाहती हुँ। किसी को भी अपनी निजी जिंदगी के बारे में कभी इस तरह नहीं कहना चाहिए। पर यह तो सिर्फ एक लेख है जिसमें मुझ जैसे व्यक्ति अपनी भावनाओं को कहानियों और लेखों के जरिए जाहिर करते हैं। इसलिए मैं तुम्हें एक ओपन पत्र लिख रही हूँ। ताकि इस लेटर के जरिए मेरी कुछ बातें दुनिया वालों तक पहुँच सके। पिछले दिनों से मैंने बहुत कुछ जाना ।और आज मेरी सोच ऐसी है, की अब मुझे लोगों को देखकर डर नहीं लगता । please click link below👇 for more reading… It is link to original blog post.



Moon Light story 

There was a Ghost dancing  under the Moon Light


Imagine you are alone in night out at some place where you can’t imagine someone else to be. 

You are happy and feeling of ecstasy is running all over you.  You dance in that silent song only you could hear. You giggle and jiggle in your own laugh. Night at own is what you thought. 

But suddenly you turned around and shadow of someone unknown peeks at you.  And you lose the sudden  madness in you… Now you act sobber like nothing has happened ever and run down to your personal  corner. 

To scold yourself and assume that no one have notice your craziness. 

And if they have not remembered you they would Say –

“There was a Ghost dancing  under the Moon Light. “

Please the click

 above link if you want to read in full version  in  Hindi 

Things have changed …life review.

Hello reader, it took me long time to write something ethical….

Well! I am very much busy these days because it’s financial year ending. Many of you might be thinking what connection I am having with finance, so let me remind you that I am still working as trainee accountant….. And yes! I am still stuck…..although I don’t hate my job now….because now I have got use to it.

These days i am living alone…. and I don’t have a single human being around me  during times when I need them…. I am actually talking about my family and friends.

I don’t know what feelings are as I have turned into a robot who knows only about her works…

But I am enjoying this alone solitude time…..because no one cares whether I am sleeping or awake…..whether dying or living …I can do anything ….even dance naked !(just kidding…..but its truth )

I am living on my own….still lazy…..in cooking. (The reason I still want my mother to be with me is food because… I can’t cook well.)

These days music is my best friend…..it still helping me to survive.

I listen and download a new tracks everyday…. and I have become huge fan of Asian dramas which include Japan, Taiwanese, Thai, Korean Indian mix videos are my favorite…. Korean/Thai actors are really very cute and handsome….

I have prepared a list of series to see every day during my spare time…

  1. Full house Korean/Thai
  2. Playful kiss/ kiss me
  3. My little lover
  4. The girl and three sweethearts.

And there are more to watch….

Now about my personal love trouble….

I can’t love someone more than myself…I have learn this about myself…..

Going through one sided relationship doesn’t give much more than pain.

Although this time it was not hard because I was not serious from very beginning … I have already told vikas….my first preference is my career and my family which exactly same from his side for his family and himself.

I didn’t have much chance to know him…and yes! I am not ashamed to take his name….no code V this time.

It was not a serious  kind…of l0ve relationship…..just a trial date….which took….five years to understand that we couldn’t go together.

I know he will be annoyed ….but now who cares…. I am already a spoil brat.

I know describing your personal relationship in public is highly immature and a big stupidity…. but you know what ….my heart is really itching ….and I can’t control.

He compared himself with someone who was….

I can’t disclose…much ….it my fault and I am taking blame on my self….

I believe him as good friend…. and may be after reading all these things he may not consider me as one.

I do not hate him ….it’s that things have not gone far between us and I am thankful….

My last poem “thank god we never kissed” was dedicated to him….

PS…By the way vikas….if you are reading this….. I am sorry for mentioning you in public.

Facing world

Hello! To everyone who reads my blog.

Today I thought to write about my life updates…. Well! I already know it’s not so interesting….but then it’s not so boring….. (Currently I like how it’s feels.)

Earlier I used to worry because I was jobless… Unemployed… And now I have a job…(not my favourite one) …. But at least  I have job.

I don’t get much time for myself…. No much writing, no animation…no making new friends.
But then I know how it’s feel to be alone…. Responsible… And being surrounded by lots of unknown people. 
Knowing how to deal  with them…. Facing gender difference. (Working among 24 men and me as only female.)
I don’t talk much in office… Just official work.
Having no human being who listens to your problems really feels sad, but I pray to God… It’s like talking to your inner self… To get solutions .
I have started being practical….
Its like facing real world… facing your problems.

while traveling from home to office i enjoy view of mountains and forest… yes, i travel everyday from proper develop city to an undeveloped town.
but then it bring change in atmosphere… bringing me near to nature…
sometimes I feel that i should carry a canvas and brushes to paint those landscape I see every day. it’s peaceful and natural. the most enjoying part is music… i never take off my headphones from my ears when i am in bus.. listening to my favourite music tracks.
and this is how i am living my life.


Here are links to my 5 favourite tracks
kabhi jo badal
kasak uthi mere mann
jeena jeena
kuch kam
PS:- I know how music help us to survive.

the way you smile!

Yes ,the way you smile! and than …there my heart stuck with that little feeling .

For so many days I just wanted one glimpse of you,
You know how secretly I admire you,
Try to get attention from you.
It’s not that; I don’t have guts to accept my feelings for you!
But I don’t want my feelings to be crushed under your attitude’s !
You are so much occupied by your ego, materialism and your standards.
But wait …. These things make you happy… And I could see you Smile.
Yes ,the way you smile! and than …there my heart stuck with that little feeling .

I can say sorry instead….
But I think this  is much better explanation.😛

Lastly , I  am still broken by words and you know what i want to say.

Childhood love

Last month (February) went well. I didn’t face any problem except some of the issues of my life which are still unsolved. Things are going as usual …. Which means; there is nothing new going on.

My life is as usual bore and tasteless .  Sometimes so tasteless that even my boyfriend doesn’t show any kind of interest in it… you know it’s not his problem that I am very boring sometimes … the problem is me. And that’s why I don’t talk much about it….

I feel hopeless sometimes because I don’t have job or anything else to do… (🎎 Like getting married or engaged ). Even the fifth grade kid next door has far more interesting love life than I do have.

Yes, fifth grade kid  are having love affairs nowadays. Isn’t it surprising…! They are having so interesting love affair that I am going to write a story on it….(because I don’t  have any other work to do😜)

So, here it is….

I was chilling in veranda of my house, when neighboring kids ( Ashish , Abhisekh and Ankita )   were playing  some kind of board game. It was there exam holidays.  I was not much interested in them until Ankita (older of all kids) asked Abhishek about his girlfriend. Then I wonder how a fifth grade kid is having a girlfriend….. (May be she is his class buddy ….) But they can’t have girlfriend- boy friend relationship.

Ankita – “Abhisekh!  Akansha  such main teri girl friend hai?”(Abhishek h, is Akansha is really your girlfriend?)

Abhisekh-“ha, usne kud mujhe yahi kha ki who mujh se  pyar   karti hai .”(Yes, she herself said to me that she love me.)

Ankita – “tu bhi use pyar   karta   hai kya ?.” (Do you also love her?)

Abhisekh –“ha, karta hu par Ashish bhi use se pyar karta hai .”(Yes, I do but Ashish also loves her.)

While I was listening to this whole conversations I was wondering how kids of fifth /sixth grade  could ever have such love issues where two best friends have fallen for same girl and now fighting for her love.  Ankita who is older of all kid and in eighth grade is solving their love issue.

PS :- The whole conversation between these kids made me wonder how much advance is the coming generation is, by the time they will reach my age I don’t know what will happen.  Secondly, I know love can happen at any age and with anybody .(which remind me of my favorite novel  Flipped ).

If I wanted … I could have written whole conversation between Ankita and Abhisekh , but I didn’t wrote because … it’s like judging them . I too have fallen in love at their age  …..You know how childhood love has lot of memories…sometimes we cry and sometimes we laugh.

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