Remembering the past you.(open letter).

Please, don’t consider my feelings…when you  read it. They always change.

Advertisements

psd copyI have so many times mentioned you in my post directly and indirectly. I don’t know sometimes it is intentionally, and sometimes it is not. But you are always there…..

Last time; when, we met. you asked me something. You asked me “why you?” and I said “it was our age of stupidity.”

I always ask this question to myself, that why I have fallen for you…and guess what? there are things, which makes you different; but still the question remain still “unanswered.”

You already know that I am very much infatuated with you.
So, here are somethings which I want to check once again.

  • I found you very amusing from very beginning. I don’t know why I easily gets distracted by you.
  •  From the time, I confessed my feelings for you till now….there are many minor details..I still remembered about you.
  •  I still remember idiots things…..you have done and many things which are told about you.
  •  Remembering good thing about you makes me happy.
  • I still have your letters inside my wardrobe and I consider them very  precious…. (feeling like they are love letters….)
  •  I remember once; I wrote lyrics of a song I dedicated to you….and one of the song is from movie ‘jannat’ –“ha tu hai.”
  •   I don’t know why ? the time when I was holding grudge for you….I wanted to see you….even though I know that you were ignoring me.
  •  I took you as a challenge of my life and you know what  I am still battling.
  •  I made choice to move on…..but sometimes; I feel I am hooked to your memories…..
  •  It was you, who was my page turner. And you will be always ; my bookmark.
  • I don’t know about future ….but I know how to accept things. So, I know anything can change.

So, I know  you may be confused when you read it …. I still make things, not so easy.

Please, don’t consider my feelings…when you  read it. They always change.

  1. PS. It’s  dedicated ….and I can’t portrait you. Wishes! for your future.please don’t mind after reading it..

Relationship Confusions

My life is turning into drama… Where I don’t know what next is going to happen…. Its so unpredictable! And I don’t know what I should do about it.I don’t have single close person who could just hear me…

So this is what actually happen…. 

In one of my previous post title one sketch and my thoughts . I post about- how my thoughts are occupied with thoughts of a person(lets call him- AT  for  less confusion.) I was editing /drafting  that post …2 days before my birthday.

(so obviously I don’t know whats going to happen on my birthday.)

Everybody have some expectations on their birthdays…. But my only expectations was people who  are close to me remember my birthday.. Without the Facebook alert/notification…

And  I did got wishes….. AT was one them who wished me… 

I was like “OMG ! He knows my birthday date…”

When I was expecting birthday wishes from many  persons I didn’t expected him ..

I know …how wrong i was about him…I mean …I can’t change our past. But I also know…things are not same now.

I started comparison…. Comparison between AT and the person I am secretly dating..for 4/3 year. (lets call him Vx ).

 Vx was not able to wish me  because of some reason.   I was really upset…  

I was Questioning about my commitment!  “Is Vx  is right person for me? ” ( The fact is I am still questioning…. Because we have not talked for months    )   ” does he care, if i don’t talk to him?” 

And nowadays Vx is totally absent from my life…

I want to talk to him , want to make him  realise my frustration . But then I know he will not stop me from going away…because i have tried it many times…and every time I was the one who comes back to convince !

The fact is this time i am not even bothering him(Vx)…for keeping up this relations … Even if it  hurts ,which is better than feeling   sorry for yourself later.

Sometimes i feel maybe its my fault, because i am too much obsessed with AT ….that i didn’t able to give time to Vx.

I also feel that long distance relationship doesn’t last long unless ,both persons give their 100% efforts.. To maintain their relationship.

 i am too much confused…

I am at that point of my life where I want Stability in relationships….less drama and confusion.

I don’t want a relationships where i have too break someone heart or someone breaks my hope( because my heart is already broken twice 💔💔)
So this time my questions  to my reader…..

  1. Have you  ever been in this  Type of confusion where you don’t know what you should do?
  2. Have you ever misunderstood situations between you and your partner?
  3. If yes, how do you solve  your problems  ?
  4. What does it take to maintain a good relationship between you and your partner?
  5. If given chance do you want change your past mistake?
  6. Will You easily quit and move on ? ( I tried this once… But I am still there!)
  7. Will  you break up easily, if  you find .. Your life with  your partner is not going anywhere,? Or you put more efforts… To make it work,

PS :-Many of my well wishers suggested me that I should not discuss my personal problem in social sites… These well wishers don’t see my point of view.This blog is actually about my life .  I write blog post about those stories which actually happen in real life... Situations which can happen with anyone… 

Well!  I don’t care if people feel offended. I am not writing for them. I am doing it for myself.

For my satisfaction… 

So, I don‘t think I should explain more to them

date:- 18-10-16