में जो तुमसे कहना चाहती हूँ

प्रिय दोस्त,
कैसे हो तुम? क्या हालचाल? मुझे लगता हैं तुम जैसे भी हो …पर कुछ न कुछ मेरे जैसे ही हो।
मुझे तुमसे बहुत सारी बातें करनी है । तुमसे ये पूछना है कि तुम आज कल कैसे रहते हो। कभी कभी मुझे तुम्हारादर्द समझ आता है और कभी कभी तुम्हारी याद भी आती हैं।
जब हम आख़िरी बार मिले तोह बहुत सी बातें हुई थी और बहुत सी अधूरी रह गई। तुमने मुझे अपने बीते सालों के बारे मैं बताया औऱ मैंने भी थोड़ा बहुत कुछ तुम्हें अपने बारे में बताया था। पर बीते कुछ दिनों मेरे साथ ऐसा बहुत कुछ हुआ कि मुझे फिर से तुम्हें अपनी कहानी अच्छे से ,,,,,मतलब शुरुआत से शुरू करनी होगी। जिसमें से आधा तो तुम जानते हो और आधा कुछ ऐसा है कि मुझे अब उन बातों मतलब समझ आया हैं।
तो ये सच हैं कि तुम मेरा पहेला प्यार हो
औऱ तुम्हारे ही कारण मेरी जिंदगी में बहुत सी चीजें हुईं जो अगर न होती तो जिंदगी में इस मुकाम पे न होती। please click link to read more…https://liferebooting.blogspot.in/2018/03/part-1.html

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Love should be real 

It shows your commitment…and that’s why I don’t trust you. 

A lot of times I wonder…will it matters to you.  Or how important I am in your life….I have accepted that it’s doesn’t matter how  much time we spend together. We are simply trying something to find in each other. 

Last time we spend  a little time together…you know it could be more of us together…if you haven’t went to play cricket…because I asked you in advance about your schedule. 
It shows your commitment…and that’s why I don’t trust you. please click here to read more 

My Dirty 🙊 imagination list./ My Problem list. 

.I am not ashamed of my feelings….but I am always confused. 

I am  a deep thinker….my thoughts have no limits…sometimes it’s goes into such a pit that it’s difficult for me to come out. 

There  are reasons behind these kinds of thoughts…it’s actually because I can’t stop thinking about others.  My thoughts get influenced by the judgemental feeling of those around me.

I don’t want to judge others but when l see the consequences…. I start making predictions which almost/ nearly gets true. It’s one of my power. 

For example: –

  •  1)I made predictions about separation of two  persons (hint)🤔 . They are not happy together.  My judgement was made on basis of their behaviour…and I am feeling guilty as if ;it was I who separated them. 
  • 2) It is about my own sister….you know once she told me. I have no right  to write about her personal life.  And I think it’s right . I should not write ..but the only thing is I care about her….and I can’t see her being dumped once again. 

My own personal life is also a mess.  I have done so many mistakes…”it’s true! I have no right to judge.” But they are just my views…I am not ashamed of my feelings….but I am always confused. That is the reasons I have question Mark ?  expression in my face every time. 

I know ; I have less number of readers…but it would be interesting if any of them could just  share there experiences with me regarding the following questions: –

  1. Have you ever  fall in one-sided love? 💘
  2. If you  never had desire  to be kissed? 💏
  3. Always fall for wrong person.
  4. Have  you been dumped more than twice? 🖓
  5. Feelings cheated by life.👎👎 
  6. Want to kill someone  very badly. 🗡🗡
  7. Your boss never gives you holiday. 📉📆🗒
  8. Your crush loves someone else. 😝🙏
  9. Don’t want to get married. 💝💝
  10. Want to get power to control your life. 
  11. Want to have money without hard work  

Hope some of you comment/inbox/ email  me at- anelife16@gmail.com  

Or Mycovertlife.wordpress 

To help me out. 

PS :- Wishing happy Diwali in advance. 💣💣

 

Love Remorse feeling (part-1)

Dedicated to -“A”
Today once again I saw him in my dream. I am not going to mention his name. Once upon time, I had feelings for him, but now I only regret it.
He was smiling in my dream and I was just gazing him. I don’t know why? This is happening often now days. And when I open my eyes, he is gone…. Like; he was never there.
When we like someone, we often think about them too much. They become part of our sub conscious mind and we never know how deeply we have got attached to them.
I am not guilty that I dreamed about him…. But I have regretful feeling because I am still connected with those feelings, which I should not have for him.
I am avoiding this feeling of guilt from last five years…. And I have successfully escaped from these trap feelings. It’s like cheating your own self.
But what I could do other than running….. I am not ready… not mature.
It is not that I have finally accepted it…. I know what I have gone through …. And now I know how to deal with it.

PS:- You know how its feel like …. and  some times it really hurts… I am not done with it.

*this post really had some of my emotions attached….. for more  read next post.