The truth of my life 

If you found me silent …just know that I have storm inside.

Last year I got job.  I knew my family  (parents);  were more happy than me.

I left all my hobbies for them. Infact I have to live separately from them.

In few days ,I got use to it. But they don’t know that how unhappy I am. 

I can’t sleep properly ,neither I eat properly.  It  already affected my health. 

But mostly ;It effected my mental health.  They don’t know how depressed I am; when I found myself all alone.  

Sometimes, My days are not good…work pressure and living among strangers makes me cry.  I wish someone just know ,how it’s killing me.  I am sacrificing myself for happiness of my family.  

P.s. If you found me silent …just know that I have storm inside. 

CURRENT STATUS “Thoughts about marriage.”

It’s said “never run back to what broke you.”
But also “never forget what made you strong.” And I know in my heart…what it was….

After being defeated by love….I simply believe marriage is separate from love.

Please click on the link below to read more….👇👇👇💁

https://anelife16.blogspot.in/2017/06/current-status-confused-about-marriage.html

Moon Light story 

There was a Ghost dancing  under the Moon Light

https://anelife16.blogspot.com/2017/03/moon-light.html

Imagine you are alone in night out at some place where you can’t imagine someone else to be. 

You are happy and feeling of ecstasy is running all over you.  You dance in that silent song only you could hear. You giggle and jiggle in your own laugh. Night at own is what you thought. 

But suddenly you turned around and shadow of someone unknown peeks at you.  And you lose the sudden  madness in you… Now you act sobber like nothing has happened ever and run down to your personal  corner. 

To scold yourself and assume that no one have notice your craziness. 

And if they have not remembered you they would Say –

“There was a Ghost dancing  under the Moon Light. “

Please the click

 above link if you want to read in full version  in  Hindi 
click

Escaping the reality

Many times I have thought about life. And whenever I think too deeply about life…. I am actually disappointed!

I got three days holiday this week….. I was happy that for three days ,I won’t be  thinking about my boring burden work….

I decided I will do what gives me happiness…..

People get happiness in doing their favourite things… Meeting their friends and eating good food! (Actually this what people usually do.)

But if you ask about my favourite things …I will say…. I want to Sleep…I want to spend my day doing nothing…. I want to spend my day seeing movies …with good stories. And eat food what ever I could easily get.

You may think I am bore or very lazy person…. But it’s not like that .Actually I am tired of my reality…. In these 6 months I have seen many changes…

I have seen how people change, situation and feelings change…. All these things happened after I got job…

A very boring,but responsible job.

I have left with very less choice… I mean when I was job less , I spend my time with friends, reading books and preparing my self for job.

After getting job… I am not in touch with my friends….no time for hobbies… And I am always  tensed… Like what would happen….. I am worried about consequences…. I actually hate my job…. I am  doing it to support my family.

I am totally single….. Because I am confused with my relationship status….

The person i am dating,( for whom I should have feelings)….. I don’t have feelings ..for him sometimes!

I used  to have crush on someone else from my teen times and I still  feel those jitters…till now.

I don’t want to be in love anymore….. But I love idea of getting married…Every thing about marriage.. Except that I am not mature enough to handle anything.

I have no person to advise me…..( And I am afraid I have to goto office…. Because it’s my last of holiday. This is the only feeling I get every Monday)

PS: I never choose this way of living… But I choose hard work.

You know nothing is simple….. (Post edited on 14-11-16)


Getting married to a stranger

It’s irony of life! Yes, I am talking about reality…..

I recently saw marriage photos of one of my friend…. I was excited ,and I wanted  to know with whom she got married too.

She was not a very close friend of mine, but as  I have known her for years … I thought she will  get married to her  long term boyfriend . But no! When I saw the photos I was surprised to see a  totally stranger person standing next her….( A total alter personality ..).

I thought may be  this was the reason she didn’t post anything about her marriage status!

Yes , a background story of every second girl in modern India ! Girls who  show off too much when they had a boyfriend…. With  personality of film star like Ranbir Singh! But finally get married to some one like Jetha lal( common looking man) who have good bank balance.

This is just one phase… of truth. But there is one other side …  i.e. Expectations from  life! We expect too much but we gets what we actually deserve.

 Ps:- I saw this…reality of life many times!  Sometimes we  can’t get married to some one whom we like / love… Because after knowing the reality, we already want to quit that relationship  which is lack of trust and full of  drama.

This could be my story also…. May be I will get married to some one… Who is totally stranger person to me… Some one for whom I don’t even feel.

Relationship Confusions

My life is turning into drama… Where I don’t know what next is going to happen…. Its so unpredictable! And I don’t know what I should do about it.I don’t have single close person who could just hear me…

So this is what actually happen…. 

In one of my previous post title one sketch and my thoughts . I post about- how my thoughts are occupied with thoughts of a person(lets call him- AT  for  less confusion.) I was editing /drafting  that post …2 days before my birthday.

(so obviously I don’t know whats going to happen on my birthday.)

Everybody have some expectations on their birthdays…. But my only expectations was people who  are close to me remember my birthday.. Without the Facebook alert/notification…

And  I did got wishes….. AT was one them who wished me… 

I was like “OMG ! He knows my birthday date…”

When I was expecting birthday wishes from many  persons I didn’t expected him ..

I know …how wrong i was about him…I mean …I can’t change our past. But I also know…things are not same now.

I started comparison…. Comparison between AT and the person I am secretly dating..for 4/3 year. (lets call him Vx ).

 Vx was not able to wish me  because of some reason.   I was really upset…  

I was Questioning about my commitment!  “Is Vx  is right person for me? ” ( The fact is I am still questioning…. Because we have not talked for months    )   ” does he care, if i don’t talk to him?” 

And nowadays Vx is totally absent from my life…

I want to talk to him , want to make him  realise my frustration . But then I know he will not stop me from going away…because i have tried it many times…and every time I was the one who comes back to convince !

The fact is this time i am not even bothering him(Vx)…for keeping up this relations … Even if it  hurts ,which is better than feeling   sorry for yourself later.

Sometimes i feel maybe its my fault, because i am too much obsessed with AT ….that i didn’t able to give time to Vx.

I also feel that long distance relationship doesn’t last long unless ,both persons give their 100% efforts.. To maintain their relationship.

 i am too much confused…

I am at that point of my life where I want Stability in relationships….less drama and confusion.

I don’t want a relationships where i have too break someone heart or someone breaks my hope( because my heart is already broken twice 💔💔)
So this time my questions  to my reader…..

  1. Have you  ever been in this  Type of confusion where you don’t know what you should do?
  2. Have you ever misunderstood situations between you and your partner?
  3. If yes, how do you solve  your problems  ?
  4. What does it take to maintain a good relationship between you and your partner?
  5. If given chance do you want change your past mistake?
  6. Will You easily quit and move on ? ( I tried this once… But I am still there!)
  7. Will  you break up easily, if  you find .. Your life with  your partner is not going anywhere,? Or you put more efforts… To make it work,

PS :-Many of my well wishers suggested me that I should not discuss my personal problem in social sites… These well wishers don’t see my point of view.This blog is actually about my life .  I write blog post about those stories which actually happen in real life... Situations which can happen with anyone… 

Well!  I don’t care if people feel offended. I am not writing for them. I am doing it for myself.

For my satisfaction… 

So, I don‘t think I should explain more to them

date:- 18-10-16 


Complete 25 years of life

I am getting older ….
And some times I feel life sucks.

I don’t feel very happy today…..
Well !  I feel bit sad…., because life is changing …
I am getting older ….
And some times I feel life sucks.

This month is very special for me ,but as I have said earlier I am not as much excited as I used to be in  previous years of my life.
I have started living separately from my family… And I miss them… It’s all  because of my job and adjustments through which I have to go.   For few days I asked my parents to come and stay with me …but they can’t stay with me always. I have to become   independent they say…
And I have to go through this loneliness …sometimes things feel good and sometimes frustrated.

I have to live and survive… I have to enjoy what is actually life is about.
image

PS: I want to become independent woman… But I don’t know how to face problems… alone.
I want to ask every independent woman out their…. about their experiences …please do reply if you read.