Things have changed …life review.

Hello reader, it took me long time to write something ethical….

Well! I am very much busy these days because it’s financial year ending. Many of you might be thinking what connection I am having with finance, so let me remind you that I am still working as trainee accountant….. And yes! I am still stuck…..although I don’t hate my job now….because now I have got use to it.

These days i am living alone…. and I don’t have a single human being around me  during times when I need them…. I am actually talking about my family and friends.

I don’t know what feelings are as I have turned into a robot who knows only about her works…

But I am enjoying this alone solitude time…..because no one cares whether I am sleeping or awake…..whether dying or living …I can do anything ….even dance naked !(just kidding…..but its truth )

I am living on my own….still lazy…..in cooking. (The reason I still want my mother to be with me is food because… I can’t cook well.)

These days music is my best friend…..it still helping me to survive.

I listen and download a new tracks everyday…. and I have become huge fan of Asian dramas which include Japan, Taiwanese, Thai, Korean Indian mix videos are my favorite…. Korean/Thai actors are really very cute and handsome….

I have prepared a list of series to see every day during my spare time…

  1. Full house Korean/Thai
  2. Playful kiss/ kiss me
  3. My little lover
  4. The girl and three sweethearts.

And there are more to watch….

Now about my personal love trouble….

I can’t love someone more than myself…I have learn this about myself…..

Going through one sided relationship doesn’t give much more than pain.

Although this time it was not hard because I was not serious from very beginning … I have already told vikas….my first preference is my career and my family which exactly same from his side for his family and himself.

I didn’t have much chance to know him…and yes! I am not ashamed to take his name….no code V this time.

It was not a serious  kind…of l0ve relationship…..just a trial date….which took….five years to understand that we couldn’t go together.

I know he will be annoyed ….but now who cares…. I am already a spoil brat.

I know describing your personal relationship in public is highly immature and a big stupidity…. but you know what ….my heart is really itching ….and I can’t control.

He compared himself with someone who was….

I can’t disclose…much ….it my fault and I am taking blame on my self….

I believe him as good friend…. and may be after reading all these things he may not consider me as one.

I do not hate him ….it’s that things have not gone far between us and I am thankful….

My last poem “thank god we never kissed” was dedicated to him….

PS…By the way vikas….if you are reading this….. I am sorry for mentioning you in public.

Escaping the reality

Many times I have thought about life. And whenever I think too deeply about life…. I am actually disappointed!

I got three days holiday this week….. I was happy that for three days ,I won’t be  thinking about my boring burden work….

I decided I will do what gives me happiness…..

People get happiness in doing their favourite things… Meeting their friends and eating good food! (Actually this what people usually do.)

But if you ask about my favourite things …I will say…. I want to Sleep…I want to spend my day doing nothing…. I want to spend my day seeing movies …with good stories. And eat food what ever I could easily get.

You may think I am bore or very lazy person…. But it’s not like that .Actually I am tired of my reality…. In these 6 months I have seen many changes…

I have seen how people change, situation and feelings change…. All these things happened after I got job…

A very boring,but responsible job.

I have left with very less choice… I mean when I was job less , I spend my time with friends, reading books and preparing my self for job.

After getting job… I am not in touch with my friends….no time for hobbies… And I am always  tensed… Like what would happen….. I am worried about consequences…. I actually hate my job…. I am  doing it to support my family.

I am totally single….. Because I am confused with my relationship status….

The person i am dating,( for whom I should have feelings)….. I don’t have feelings ..for him sometimes!

I used  to have crush on someone else from my teen times and I still  feel those jitters…till now.

I don’t want to be in love anymore….. But I love idea of getting married…Every thing about marriage.. Except that I am not mature enough to handle anything.

I have no person to advise me…..( And I am afraid I have to goto office…. Because it’s my last of holiday. This is the only feeling I get every Monday)

PS: I never choose this way of living… But I choose hard work.

You know nothing is simple….. (Post edited on 14-11-16)


Complete 25 years of life

I am getting older ….
And some times I feel life sucks.

I don’t feel very happy today…..
Well !  I feel bit sad…., because life is changing …
I am getting older ….
And some times I feel life sucks.

This month is very special for me ,but as I have said earlier I am not as much excited as I used to be in  previous years of my life.
I have started living separately from my family… And I miss them… It’s all  because of my job and adjustments through which I have to go.   For few days I asked my parents to come and stay with me …but they can’t stay with me always. I have to become   independent they say…
And I have to go through this loneliness …sometimes things feel good and sometimes frustrated.

I have to live and survive… I have to enjoy what is actually life is about.
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PS: I want to become independent woman… But I don’t know how to face problems… alone.
I want to ask every independent woman out their…. about their experiences …please do reply if you read.