Loneliness and independence 

How it’s feel to be alone.

​At age of 26 you don’t want to loose your independence but than you are alone and    at that moment you realise how much you are dependent on someone for happiness.  

There are things you could do alonelike:-

  1. Listen good music. 
  2. Sleep without disturbance. 
  3. Cook your favourite meal
  4. Dance 💃like  mad person 
  5. Take tour of new places 
  6. Go for shopping  

But than these things be useless when

  • You listen good music and it remind you of someone you love 
  • You sleep without  disturbance but you dream of that person being with you 
  • You cook food but it tasteless and you are eating alone 
  • Dance like mad person but there is no one to witnesses your madness 
  • You take tour of new places but still you are a stranger 
  • Go for shopping but there is no one who could carry shopping bags with you. 

Drama v/s Reality 

https://anelife16.blogspot.in/2017/03/drama-vs-reality.html?m=1
तु चाहता किसी को और तूझे चाहता कोई और है ।

Imagine you are Heroine in your own life drama 😂😃😃Drama👈please click this  link to go original site and read full article 😁 

 

https://anelife16.blogspot.in/2017/03/drama-vs-reality.html?m=1

Things have changed …life review.

Hello reader, it took me long time to write something ethical….

Well! I am very much busy these days because it’s financial year ending. Many of you might be thinking what connection I am having with finance, so let me remind you that I am still working as trainee accountant….. And yes! I am still stuck…..although I don’t hate my job now….because now I have got use to it.

These days i am living alone…. and I don’t have a single human being around me  during times when I need them…. I am actually talking about my family and friends.

I don’t know what feelings are as I have turned into a robot who knows only about her works…

But I am enjoying this alone solitude time…..because no one cares whether I am sleeping or awake…..whether dying or living …I can do anything ….even dance naked !(just kidding…..but its truth )

I am living on my own….still lazy…..in cooking. (The reason I still want my mother to be with me is food because… I can’t cook well.)

These days music is my best friend…..it still helping me to survive.

I listen and download a new tracks everyday…. and I have become huge fan of Asian dramas which include Japan, Taiwanese, Thai, Korean Indian mix videos are my favorite…. Korean/Thai actors are really very cute and handsome….

I have prepared a list of series to see every day during my spare time…

  1. Full house Korean/Thai
  2. Playful kiss/ kiss me
  3. My little lover
  4. The girl and three sweethearts.

And there are more to watch….

Now about my personal love trouble….

I can’t love someone more than myself…I have learn this about myself…..

Going through one sided relationship doesn’t give much more than pain.

Although this time it was not hard because I was not serious from very beginning … I have already told vikas….my first preference is my career and my family which exactly same from his side for his family and himself.

I didn’t have much chance to know him…and yes! I am not ashamed to take his name….no code V this time.

It was not a serious  kind…of l0ve relationship…..just a trial date….which took….five years to understand that we couldn’t go together.

I know he will be annoyed ….but now who cares…. I am already a spoil brat.

I know describing your personal relationship in public is highly immature and a big stupidity…. but you know what ….my heart is really itching ….and I can’t control.

He compared himself with someone who was….

I can’t disclose…much ….it my fault and I am taking blame on my self….

I believe him as good friend…. and may be after reading all these things he may not consider me as one.

I do not hate him ….it’s that things have not gone far between us and I am thankful….

My last poem “thank god we never kissed” was dedicated to him….

PS…By the way vikas….if you are reading this….. I am sorry for mentioning you in public.

Thank God ! We never kissed,

How was your first kiss ?

Have you ever regret your first kiss ?

Thank God ! We never kissed. http://anelife16.blogspot.com/2017/02/thank-god-we-never-kissed.html

Escaping the reality

Many times I have thought about life. And whenever I think too deeply about life…. I am actually disappointed!

I got three days holiday this week….. I was happy that for three days ,I won’t be  thinking about my boring burden work….

I decided I will do what gives me happiness…..

People get happiness in doing their favourite things… Meeting their friends and eating good food! (Actually this what people usually do.)

But if you ask about my favourite things …I will say…. I want to Sleep…I want to spend my day doing nothing…. I want to spend my day seeing movies …with good stories. And eat food what ever I could easily get.

You may think I am bore or very lazy person…. But it’s not like that .Actually I am tired of my reality…. In these 6 months I have seen many changes…

I have seen how people change, situation and feelings change…. All these things happened after I got job…

A very boring,but responsible job.

I have left with very less choice… I mean when I was job less , I spend my time with friends, reading books and preparing my self for job.

After getting job… I am not in touch with my friends….no time for hobbies… And I am always  tensed… Like what would happen….. I am worried about consequences…. I actually hate my job…. I am  doing it to support my family.

I am totally single….. Because I am confused with my relationship status….

The person i am dating,( for whom I should have feelings)….. I don’t have feelings ..for him sometimes!

I used  to have crush on someone else from my teen times and I still  feel those jitters…till now.

I don’t want to be in love anymore….. But I love idea of getting married…Every thing about marriage.. Except that I am not mature enough to handle anything.

I have no person to advise me…..( And I am afraid I have to goto office…. Because it’s my last of holiday. This is the only feeling I get every Monday)

PS: I never choose this way of living… But I choose hard work.

You know nothing is simple….. (Post edited on 14-11-16)


What if I have never met him?

While going through different posts and quotes I came across this pic… And lines on which I am stuck !  The person who change your life…. Or in other words who was turning point.

I started thinking about my life…. “. 

What if I have never met him?

 What if I never had crush on him?

What if my heart was never broken?

What if I never Stuck in any rebound relationship?

I started thinking about all my life these year’s……

And I don’t know…. If I could …..

PS:- What ever happening with us …..it is for some reason.

But we always ….thought what if? I have never met him…/her…,


Getting married to a stranger

It’s irony of life! Yes, I am talking about reality…..

I recently saw marriage photos of one of my friend…. I was excited ,and I wanted  to know with whom she got married too.

She was not a very close friend of mine, but as  I have known her for years … I thought she will  get married to her  long term boyfriend . But no! When I saw the photos I was surprised to see a  totally stranger person standing next her….( A total alter personality ..).

I thought may be  this was the reason she didn’t post anything about her marriage status!

Yes , a background story of every second girl in modern India ! Girls who  show off too much when they had a boyfriend…. With  personality of film star like Ranbir Singh! But finally get married to some one like Jetha lal( common looking man) who have good bank balance.

This is just one phase… of truth. But there is one other side …  i.e. Expectations from  life! We expect too much but we gets what we actually deserve.

 Ps:- I saw this…reality of life many times!  Sometimes we  can’t get married to some one whom we like / love… Because after knowing the reality, we already want to quit that relationship  which is lack of trust and full of  drama.

This could be my story also…. May be I will get married to some one… Who is totally stranger person to me… Some one for whom I don’t even feel.

Relationship Confusions

My life is turning into drama… Where I don’t know what next is going to happen…. Its so unpredictable! And I don’t know what I should do about it.I don’t have single close person who could just hear me…

So this is what actually happen…. 

In one of my previous post title one sketch and my thoughts . I post about- how my thoughts are occupied with thoughts of a person(lets call him- AT  for  less confusion.) I was editing /drafting  that post …2 days before my birthday.

(so obviously I don’t know whats going to happen on my birthday.)

Everybody have some expectations on their birthdays…. But my only expectations was people who  are close to me remember my birthday.. Without the Facebook alert/notification…

And  I did got wishes….. AT was one them who wished me… 

I was like “OMG ! He knows my birthday date…”

When I was expecting birthday wishes from many  persons I didn’t expected him ..

I know …how wrong i was about him…I mean …I can’t change our past. But I also know…things are not same now.

I started comparison…. Comparison between AT and the person I am secretly dating..for 4/3 year. (lets call him Vx ).

 Vx was not able to wish me  because of some reason.   I was really upset…  

I was Questioning about my commitment!  “Is Vx  is right person for me? ” ( The fact is I am still questioning…. Because we have not talked for months    )   ” does he care, if i don’t talk to him?” 

And nowadays Vx is totally absent from my life…

I want to talk to him , want to make him  realise my frustration . But then I know he will not stop me from going away…because i have tried it many times…and every time I was the one who comes back to convince !

The fact is this time i am not even bothering him(Vx)…for keeping up this relations … Even if it  hurts ,which is better than feeling   sorry for yourself later.

Sometimes i feel maybe its my fault, because i am too much obsessed with AT ….that i didn’t able to give time to Vx.

I also feel that long distance relationship doesn’t last long unless ,both persons give their 100% efforts.. To maintain their relationship.

 i am too much confused…

I am at that point of my life where I want Stability in relationships….less drama and confusion.

I don’t want a relationships where i have too break someone heart or someone breaks my hope( because my heart is already broken twice 💔💔)
So this time my questions  to my reader…..

  1. Have you  ever been in this  Type of confusion where you don’t know what you should do?
  2. Have you ever misunderstood situations between you and your partner?
  3. If yes, how do you solve  your problems  ?
  4. What does it take to maintain a good relationship between you and your partner?
  5. If given chance do you want change your past mistake?
  6. Will You easily quit and move on ? ( I tried this once… But I am still there!)
  7. Will  you break up easily, if  you find .. Your life with  your partner is not going anywhere,? Or you put more efforts… To make it work,

PS :-Many of my well wishers suggested me that I should not discuss my personal problem in social sites… These well wishers don’t see my point of view.This blog is actually about my life .  I write blog post about those stories which actually happen in real life... Situations which can happen with anyone… 

Well!  I don’t care if people feel offended. I am not writing for them. I am doing it for myself.

For my satisfaction… 

So, I don‘t think I should explain more to them

date:- 18-10-16 


BigBigBigBig Big  Sharks and  a tiny fish.

You don’t ,know when your words cuts your own neck !

Have you ever thought what it is to  “live , like a fish”…?  

Well I too.. have never thought…,how fish live its life…only I used to sing that nursery rhythm – “Maachli jal ki raani hai..and jivan usaka paani hai”

But if ; now I want to give a metaphor about my current life situations…I find nothing more better than a fish life.

These  days I am struggling a lot. Some times I ..even feel helpless…. Like a fish who have to live in ocean with all kind of dangers.

I am that kind of tiny fish who have to fight and swim hard for it survival…. There are lot of Sharks   in my world… Who are danger and I have to use tricks to save my self….

There are friendly fishes too…. But unless we don’t have to fight for same food…   

Most of you  will not understand what I meant when I am saying these things-“unless you are working in corporate business office or in Govt. Offices.”

You don’t know  what  running in other persons mind when they approach you…until you see their true interest.

I have to think too much before  speaking up….

You don’t know, when your words cuts your own neck !

PS:- The best part is I am learning….even though somethings are tough. But it also mean I am becoming strong because no other options are left.