MY B’Day diary 

Saale kisi ko bhi mera birthday Yaad nhi)  Facebook main alert ka wait kyu karte hai.

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One whole day/ night  and some truth.

Ok I don’t know how many of you will going read this…but this post is  actually about my views towards life. I am writing this post at 10:40…pm at eve of my birthday…which means after just few hour l will be 26yr. 

When I write 26…I actually feel awkward as it mean l am 26yr old person but by heart I am just 15…I am still trying to sort out things… well about statement which I made about my heart being 15 is utter lie… I am actually 26yr  and I also think like 26yr…but sometimes I behave like 10 years 😆😆.

Ok let just come to main subject of my post… I was thinking that when we grow up we start knowing people and how one person could be different from other…

Last year, I was feeling little low about how my life is now totally changed and I am left alone. 

This year the ..thing is ; I want to hide…because I don’t want to meet anyone new …I have started hating actual world…..
I see truth of life…and I feel everything thing is vain. 

There are reasons behind such feelings. 

A man gets married because,  he wants cook /maid/wife/ for himself.  Means woman is still secondary element.

A woman gets married because she don’t want to be single for life time and want a  ATM  …who should support her and her family and still want to live her life like free woman. 

A boss is always right…a even though we know sometimes he is wrong . (By his thought) 

People know about your difficulty ;but can’t help you because ,they don’t want to and want to be safe

Money is every thing…it make wrong people,right. 

You can’t help others unless you help yourself. 


Above points are some bitter truth I recently observed…and there are more…. but you know I am lazy in explaining everything  . It just that I  know; I have to live life this way…I can turn things better only when I turn them good for me. 

And what about the other half of my life….like what about my love interest, my family etc…

The things are good means I am not thinking too deeply now a days….because one day everyone has to die

7 AM 

I slept…..it’s morning now. And it’s my birthday! Yes, I am waiting for my birthday wishes. My colleagues  have no idea about my birthday…wondering whether I should treat them or not. 

It depends whether they know about it or not..

In fact  my own father had not wished me…but he loves me and that’s why he is living with me.

Which reminds me something which my boss said-“ when you go home(room)? Do You cook  your own meal??” it was a question. Because he knows I don’t know how to cook properly. 

Then it suddenly strike in my head “why is it expected that woman should  always be  good @cooking or should know how to cook”.

I could have said something witty, but as usual   I smile and said “my father helps me to cook ”.

Why don’t these men (Men who don’t believe in equity ) understand that the  world is changing. Household responsibilities are not only for women but also for men.

12 PM 

Guess what? Not a good day so far.

I got wishes from my mom and one of sister friend whom I consider as sister. But no wishes from my friends…although they are liking my profile pic in Facebook. 😆😆iss ke alwa bhi kuch karate nhi. 

1:30 pm 

Dozing like anything…

I want to leave.. but😜 I can’t leave my work  .

10:PM 

I am finally at home with My family. I back to myself….

So, it’s ending of the day… almost end of birthday and still waiting for more(or less expected once ) wishes   … may be tomorrow some confused people will wish me…I realize even if I try too much; it’s  hard to create my place in their heart.  I don’t worth it.   So for those who still think about me and care for me. I am  there in hearts. 😏😶. I love them…they know.

P.S.1 I hate my so called crush, boyfriend, and friends (Saale kisi ko bhi mera birthday Yaad nhi)  Facebook main alert ka wait kyu karte hai.😛😛😛

P.S. 2 I am actually feeling bad and I wish I could say something mean to them.  

Life is never simple 

Life is not about only good things …. It is also about things…which you never expect….

My life is just going through some phase…which I have never expected … although today I am independent … but I feel very much disappointed.

It is because; my all imagination about a wonderful life is getting shatter one by one.

I am at that point of time where I just want to relax…. But my mind is constantly working…and now it is over loaded.

You know what, I know some day I will reread my own post and smile on what I am writing.

….So now readers …if you are going to  read my post …. I am warning you … it is all about life shits…👉👉..https://anelife16.blogspot.in/2017/08/life-is-never-simple.html

Remembering the past you.(open letter).

Please, don’t consider my feelings…when you  read it. They always change.

psd copyI have so many times mentioned you in my post directly and indirectly. I don’t know sometimes it is intentionally, and sometimes it is not. But you are always there…..

Last time; when, we met. you asked me something. You asked me “why you?” and I said “it was our age of stupidity.”

I always ask this question to myself, that why I have fallen for you…and guess what? there are things, which makes you different; but still the question remain still “unanswered.”

You already know that I am very much infatuated with you.
So, here are somethings which I want to check once again.

  • I found you very amusing from very beginning. I don’t know why I easily gets distracted by you.
  •  From the time, I confessed my feelings for you till now….there are many minor details..I still remembered about you.
  •  I still remember idiots things…..you have done and many things which are told about you.
  •  Remembering good thing about you makes me happy.
  • I still have your letters inside my wardrobe and I consider them very  precious…. (feeling like they are love letters….)
  •  I remember once; I wrote lyrics of a song I dedicated to you….and one of the song is from movie ‘jannat’ –“ha tu hai.”
  •   I don’t know why ? the time when I was holding grudge for you….I wanted to see you….even though I know that you were ignoring me.
  •  I took you as a challenge of my life and you know what  I am still battling.
  •  I made choice to move on…..but sometimes; I feel I am hooked to your memories…..
  •  It was you, who was my page turner. And you will be always ; my bookmark.
  • I don’t know about future ….but I know how to accept things. So, I know anything can change.

So, I know  you may be confused when you read it …. I still make things, not so easy.

Please, don’t consider my feelings…when you  read it. They always change.

  1. PS. It’s  dedicated ….and I can’t portrait you. Wishes! for your future.please don’t mind after reading it..

The truth of my life 

If you found me silent …just know that I have storm inside.

Last year I got job.  I knew my family  (parents);  were more happy than me.

I left all my hobbies for them. Infact I have to live separately from them.

In few days ,I got use to it. But they don’t know that how unhappy I am. 

I can’t sleep properly ,neither I eat properly.  It  already affected my health. 

But mostly ;It effected my mental health.  They don’t know how depressed I am; when I found myself all alone.  

Sometimes, My days are not good…work pressure and living among strangers makes me cry.  I wish someone just know ,how it’s killing me.  I am sacrificing myself for happiness of my family.  

P.s. If you found me silent …just know that I have storm inside. 

CURRENT STATUS “Thoughts about marriage.”

It’s said “never run back to what broke you.”
But also “never forget what made you strong.” And I know in my heart…what it was….

After being defeated by love….I simply believe marriage is separate from love.

Please click on the link below to read more….👇👇👇💁

https://anelife16.blogspot.in/2017/06/current-status-confused-about-marriage.html

First close Encounter with the chief minister at Mukya Mantri Kanya Daan Yojana.

https://anelife16.blogspot.in/2017/05/first-close-encounter-with-chief.html

I am quite excited today. Sometimes we don’t know what would happen with you or what can happen in a day.   Please click on the link 👇

https://anelife16.blogspot.in/2017/05/first-close-encounter-with-chief.html

Loneliness and independence 

How it’s feel to be alone.

​At age of 26 you don’t want to loose your independence but than you are alone and    at that moment you realise how much you are dependent on someone for happiness.  

There are things you could do alonelike:-

  1. Listen good music. 
  2. Sleep without disturbance. 
  3. Cook your favourite meal
  4. Dance 💃like  mad person 
  5. Take tour of new places 
  6. Go for shopping  

But than these things be useless when

  • You listen good music and it remind you of someone you love 
  • You sleep without  disturbance but you dream of that person being with you 
  • You cook food but it tasteless and you are eating alone 
  • Dance like mad person but there is no one to witnesses your madness 
  • You take tour of new places but still you are a stranger 
  • Go for shopping but there is no one who could carry shopping bags with you. 

Drama v/s Reality 

https://anelife16.blogspot.in/2017/03/drama-vs-reality.html?m=1
तु चाहता किसी को और तूझे चाहता कोई और है ।

Imagine you are Heroine in your own life drama 😂😃😃Drama👈please click this  link to go original site and read full article 😁 

 

https://anelife16.blogspot.in/2017/03/drama-vs-reality.html?m=1

Things have changed …life review.

Hello reader, it took me long time to write something ethical….

Well! I am very much busy these days because it’s financial year ending. Many of you might be thinking what connection I am having with finance, so let me remind you that I am still working as trainee accountant….. And yes! I am still stuck…..although I don’t hate my job now….because now I have got use to it.

These days i am living alone…. and I don’t have a single human being around me  during times when I need them…. I am actually talking about my family and friends.

I don’t know what feelings are as I have turned into a robot who knows only about her works…

But I am enjoying this alone solitude time…..because no one cares whether I am sleeping or awake…..whether dying or living …I can do anything ….even dance naked !(just kidding…..but its truth )

I am living on my own….still lazy…..in cooking. (The reason I still want my mother to be with me is food because… I can’t cook well.)

These days music is my best friend…..it still helping me to survive.

I listen and download a new tracks everyday…. and I have become huge fan of Asian dramas which include Japan, Taiwanese, Thai, Korean Indian mix videos are my favorite…. Korean/Thai actors are really very cute and handsome….

I have prepared a list of series to see every day during my spare time…

  1. Full house Korean/Thai
  2. Playful kiss/ kiss me
  3. My little lover
  4. The girl and three sweethearts.

And there are more to watch….

Now about my personal love trouble….

I can’t love someone more than myself…I have learn this about myself…..

Going through one sided relationship doesn’t give much more than pain.

Although this time it was not hard because I was not serious from very beginning … I have already told vikas….my first preference is my career and my family which exactly same from his side for his family and himself.

I didn’t have much chance to know him…and yes! I am not ashamed to take his name….no code V this time.

It was not a serious  kind…of l0ve relationship…..just a trial date….which took….five years to understand that we couldn’t go together.

I know he will be annoyed ….but now who cares…. I am already a spoil brat.

I know describing your personal relationship in public is highly immature and a big stupidity…. but you know what ….my heart is really itching ….and I can’t control.

He compared himself with someone who was….

I can’t disclose…much ….it my fault and I am taking blame on my self….

I believe him as good friend…. and may be after reading all these things he may not consider me as one.

I do not hate him ….it’s that things have not gone far between us and I am thankful….

My last poem “thank god we never kissed” was dedicated to him….

PS…By the way vikas….if you are reading this….. I am sorry for mentioning you in public.

Thank God ! We never kissed,

How was your first kiss ?

Have you ever regret your first kiss ?

Thank God ! We never kissed. http://anelife16.blogspot.com/2017/02/thank-god-we-never-kissed.html