Deep thoughts 2

I am 26 years .. This year I will be 27. This reminds me I have reached a marriageable age.
Ha ha …but I want to laugh at the fact. Because I am still not ready. Nearly all my friends and mates who have studied with me are getting married or thinking about marriage. And here I am sitting in my office desk thinking about-“ how to tell my parents that I am an adult now and could take my own care.”
Yes …..It’s really funny na ! My parents still think I am an adolescence.
I have so many things about which I want to tell my parents , but I feel embarrassed ….because I already know my parents would never understand me.They won’t accept me .
It’s all about how much screwed up I am. And how much I have hidden about myself.
Basically I am always honest to them… but I can’t tell them about my relationship status. Because they won’t understand.
I deal with people….and I know a lot. I am still taking experience . But there is a thing which eating me up.
I don’t follow any conservative life. But still as I move around and meet new people I have to keep a poker face on.
I have been depressed and been in bad emotional trauma. When ever I have been attached to and started loving someone ; they already preparing to leave me. This time I have nothing to lose also …because I have given it all.
And you know what? I have become so habitual….that I myself say Goodbye to them.
Yes I am going through it….last finale. Yes I am waiting that #person would finally say goodbye to me… I secretly wanted to marry him …but the complications in life….Which reality has created . I don’t think there’s any hope.
I am not going to fall for anyone now….because I am already in pit.
And when I see other couples happily living married life… I just want to say one thing ….not everyone is so fortunate.
PS . It’s hurting me lot …to letting him Go. Because I can’t let anyone suffer with me .

After cooking

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