One sketch… and my thoughts.

I too have move ahead…. But this feeling of insecurity still last deep in my heart.

Advertisements

I am going through many changes in my life…
So , today post is about my covert thoughts.

I was suffering from cold fever …..and still I was working in office…. It was not that I had lot of work to do but then I have to complete my work any how.( if I could do all pending work.) But next day I became ill very badly …I hardly did any work.
I decided to take leave from work and I returned home  to my family.

After returning I was taking rest ,but my mind was still not in peace…. It was filled with all unnecessary thought..which also include his memories.
I don’t know why his thought came in my mind… May be because I was too much bore ; that I started writing an article  which, remind me of him.. Or ,may be because his memories are always part of  that unending disappointment.
* here ” his ” refers to a person(not so important  person) .
But still in depth of my heart I respect him because of those lessons which he taught me..

And then I saw something in FacebookI saw a sketch This sketch was made by him.. Yes he is a good artist… Another reason for my  adoring him secretly…
As I am also an amateur artist … I  always respect art.. But more than that I try to find feelings… Behind that art.

image

I have never been covert about my feelings.. So … I did what I felt.   And I liked it.👍… His sketch was really good…
I thought if… I could also make sketch like that… from my pen tab which was kept unused from one month..

I thought if I could ask – how does  he draw with such ease… My brain was very badly occupied with his  thought that I even dreamed about him.. that night..

Next morning when I wake up … the first thing I did was Facebook…. And once again I saw another sketch made by him…. This time I didn’t like it  … I don’t know why…  May be because I saw a feeling behind it… Instead I started reading all those comments with sketch… I  started searching for all those who all were tag  to that sketch….I don’t know why I was doing that….
He has drawn someone who is part of his life…
Why should I care too much…..

I too have move ahead…. But this feeling of insecurity still last deep in my heart.
Who ? cares about ,what I feel… Than why?
There are lot of things I still don’t understand…, I was really confused….
And   then I saw time in my phone…. It was 6 am in morning and I need to get up fast to get ready for work…. It was better to keep myself busy in work than ,thinking about some person who even don’t care if I exist..

I know I can’t escape many things in my life …but at least I am not hiding …

PS:-

I know many of you readers will be confused….but to understand this post you have go through all my earlier post.

There are many people in my life…. Who just say they love me but never been there when I want them.
I remembered him because he was honest to me and rejected me in my face.

****16-9-16  Some things are least expected…..
I am sorry… If I am being too upfront about my thoughts & beliefs….

But this post is sincerely about my thought…. Not to offend someone….art…. life anything related….
Well…mujhe abhi kuch din phele hi pata chala hai ki log mera blog seriously read karte h😁😁🙌

Thanks to all readers !

Sunday Story….. Special

He was just a Crush

About my Sundays.

It was Sunday …. A usual Sunday.   Which mean Sunday Mass and prayers.
But for me it also meant a glimpse of someone…. Yes!  It is also a chance where I could see him. I know I have moved ahead …. Which means  I am not at all affected by those feelings… But still !…its like that ….if I  could see him.
Even though I am afraid… If I got caught staring him… I know he  will ignore…

“Dress normal… You are going for prayer”. This is what I said to myself.. “You are not going for seeking attention.”

And then after a while… When Mass get over… And people coming out of church. I wait….
I wait …if I could see him in this crowd..
I search for his face… In groups of people.. Every where…
But what  if he has not come ….
What if he has gone early… What if …..etc etc

And then I console myself …it’s good that I was not able to see him… You don’t feel anything … Why to be sad... He was just a Crush

PS:- Some times Sunday bring lot of memories… Specially I miss those Sunday class…. Although I was not sincere at that time….
This post is not about just one person…. It all about that time… and memories.**** post updated on 11-9-16

Complete 25 years of life

I am getting older ….
And some times I feel life sucks.

I don’t feel very happy today…..
Well !  I feel bit sad…., because life is changing …
I am getting older ….
And some times I feel life sucks.

This month is very special for me ,but as I have said earlier I am not as much excited as I used to be in  previous years of my life.
I have started living separately from my family… And I miss them… It’s all  because of my job and adjustments through which I have to go.   For few days I asked my parents to come and stay with me …but they can’t stay with me always. I have to become   independent they say…
And I have to go through this loneliness …sometimes things feel good and sometimes frustrated.

I have to live and survive… I have to enjoy what is actually life is about.
image

PS: I want to become independent woman… But I don’t know how to face problems… alone.
I want to ask every independent woman out their…. about their experiences …please do reply if you read.

Being girl

Being girl is never a weakness they should know.

I was walking through the path,
When they saw me,
a girl and weak ,they thought !
They pass some comment ,
I didn’t gave much attention though;

But will this happen everyday,
i don’t think so.
I am not weak ….
Being girl is never a weakness they should know.