Love and jealously of a girlfriend.

I am jealous of my one friend.

It is said jealously is bad seed to soul.

And I am the good example of it…
A few months back one of my friend introduced me to her boyfriend. Her boy friend is smart but not as smart and handsome as my boy friend. Yes, we girls have bad habit of comparing each other; may be not in front of each other, but mostly at each other’s back.
So, she and her boyfriend look cute together and I am happy for her, but more than that I am jealous.
The reason behind my jealously is very typical, and one of the main cause behind my emotional breakdown nowadays.
Whenever I meet them, I can see how beautiful couple they are together. I wonder how these lovebirds live their life smoothly, and then I feel much more anger toward my own relationship with my boyfriend…..
It’s not that we fight, but the thing is we hardly talks…
Even though our relationship is much older as compared to my friend and her boyfriend’s relationship, but still we don’t share much intimacy like theirs.

I have tried to talk to my boyfriend …even gave him some hints.
I told him stories of some successful relationship and how it work, but he is like least interested sometimes.

I am going through a very emotional tragedy in which I myself is a villain.
I am confessing it; yes I have done it, to get attention. The attention; which I don’t want from the world, but only from my love.

The second reason for my jealousy is that hug. You know when we are in relationship and sometimes in close friendship, we often hug each other. It’s the way to show your love… a touch to another human being.
I never had that touch with my boyfriend, that kind of affection ….. Sometimes I think he is shy, but sometimes I think he is afraid.
In country like India showing your affection to your lover in public places is strictly taboo. I am not saying him to display it in public. But at least there are other ways to make someone realize that they are special.
When I saw my friend having all these pleasure, I am jealous.
My boyfriend never does that for me… and this makes me more frustrated.
So, this time I am giving him last chance. Well this is also a last chance for me also to be in love, after this I will never ever dare to love again.

PS:-We all had one such friend whose life makes us feel jealous. I am trying to sort some things in my life ,which are valuable to me. And when I see someone who is having that enjoyments which I wanted in my life then obliviously I feel jealous.

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