Friends turning strangers-the reality behind word the friend circle.

We were girls, it was obviously that we do gossips, and sometimes our ego clash, sometimes we misunderstood each other. But one thing that I never understood was why we friends would never openly discuss our issues that we had problems and instead preferred bitching at each other’s back.

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Today I am going to write the reality behind word the- friend circle.  

I have never been so interactive may be because it’s my second nature. I do things by observation. And this is where I emotionally lack. 

When I took admission in college  I thought;  I would change  my this very basic tendency and  I made a little  bit change in my behavior.  I started interacting and became part of friend circle.  It was not a big group, but it was a group of six girls where everyone was different from other.

We were girls, it was obviously that we do gossips, and sometimes our ego clash, sometimes we misunderstood each other.  But one thing that I never understood  was why we friends would never openly discuss our issues that we had  and instead preferred bitching at each other’s back.

During midsession of second year in  college one of my group friend shifted near my neighborhood. I thought it was a good opportunity for me to be close friend to her. (I don’t want mention her name…..let call her –Y

So, when Y was new in her neighborhood she called me  every now and then for help because I was her college friend who lived near her house.  We did shopping together sometimes and sometimes we go for chilling.  I thought she became my good friend, but that was not a true.  One day my other close friend- A {let say – A) who was also in group showed me the other side of it. A said to me that ” you have started spending much time with Y and most of the time you are ;either busy helping Y or you go shopping with her.”{may be A was jealous of Y  }

I said to A that “it’s just that I am being good friend to Y who lives near her neighborhood.”  A said “it’s OK, till you are helping her, but don’t you see that  she is getting dependent on you.  Let her do her work herself.”

I agreed with A because I  also got  tired   helping Y  from time to time and I wanted my personal time to rest .

So whenever Y called me for any of her irrelevant work I would make excuses. I thought that it’s enough being good friend, now it’s time for Y to understand that she can do things alone.  And I started spending time with my other group friends.

I was happy that I took that decision, but I think Y was not happy with my sudden change in behavior.{because I was not acting like her pet anymore} .

When I started  spending more time with my other friends she started being nosy and bitching about it to other group members. In front me she acted as if I am her most favorite friend.

I understand in a group sometimes you have to cooperate with those you don’t like and same things started happening between us.I was not only the one who was having problems with Y tactics but there were others group members who disagree with her ……it was that we never come open in front of her.(we cannot outcast someone in oneday and this was the thing we called being in group.)

At  the end of  semester  one thing I analyzed in the group was that  none  of the friends were  close  or trusted   each other. Everyone have their own individual opinion.

After the college everyone got disconnected except  me, Y and another friend of our group say X.

X and Y were never so close friends so they never been much together.  After college we did had gathering for sometimes, but after some time we moved on and got busy with are different careers.{ some got married , some jobs and some still studying.}

Now you all might be thinking why I am writing all this…..because the fact that I understood that being in group and having big friend circle was of no use to me.  I am still alone … and feel stranger to them.

A few months back I got some very unfortunate news about Y. That time I didn’t have any moral fiber to act  as a good friend to Y.  Yesterday when by chance I met her in street….. My lips were sealed{having no words  of friendship}. I was neither smiling at her nor acknowledging her presence. This was the same thing what I saw in her eyes and her face.  I was stranger to her ….

The truth was  that  we became complete stranger to each other. A stranger who once knew each other.

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