Have you ever visited circus where animals do whatever their trainer make them do. Like ringmaster make lion dance in fire or elephant stand in one leg. If you ever visit my School you will have this same feeling.
During my first five years in convent school I totally lost my stubborn attitude, they turn me into robot like do this and don’t do that. I was turned into zombie. But I got recovered when I started attending classes in church -Catechism. I am Roman Catholic; it’s my religious belief from birth. So,I am member of a church and was taught all its rules and principles.Honesty, being meek, truthfulness, gentle and kind are virtues I followed when I was young. Church turned me into rational person, I am not lying. Sachi!
In my fifth grade I was so honest that they whipped me, but still I never told the lie. Actually I have not completed my homework one day. When class teacher asked about it ,instead of making some silly excuse. I told her truth-and I got thrashed in my face. In those days beating pupils was not forbidden in India. I gently took every pain, even got red faced for weeks but I remained adamant. I got beatings for my mistakes which were –
• not completing home works
• sleeping in class
• not giving right answer
• talking with other girls
• wearing wrong uniform
• being untidy
And so on… even when we don’t deserve it we have take punishments.
I still remember one of the incident happened with me. It was my Hindi teacher, she told us to write an essay in Hindi. She wanted that essay should be without any spelling mistakes, without scribbling marks and neat and tidy. I did my homework same way she wanted, even to make it look good I have written it in bold and clear handwriting, otherwise my handwriting was very timid as if ants were running in my copy. In that homework I put all my wits to make it good. But when she checked my note copy she called me in front of whole class accused me saying that I have not done my homework from my own instead I took help from my parent or someone elder. I was very meek and when she accused me I felt so humiliated that even though I have completed homework myself I started crying . I said “no ma’am, ye home work Maine hi kiya hai (I myself have done the home work)”. She slapped me hard and said “you are lying”. She even plucked my ears so hard that I felt –ye inhe keech ke lamba karde gi haathi jaise!.( she will pluck my ears to make them look like elephant ears).
I cried but she didn’t listen instead she punished me and forced me to accept that I am lying and homework is done by my parent.I was threaten by this incident so much that I never told my parents that how my cheeks got swollen.
Sometimes teachers give you punishment to take out there frustration on you. This is what I believe.I am not saying that my all teachers were crazy and taking out there frustration on us (students). May be they get so much frustrated when they teaches, that they want take it out on some of us who are weaklings and can’t payback them.
One of my friend who have gone through same kind partiality, even said that –Ki agar abhi kahi raaste Mai dekh gai na koi mujhe ,mai pakka inhe thok dugi.(If I ever met them again ,I will surely kill them.)
Being Christian doesn’t do any favors in convent school. Instead they pressurize you more. Thus, if you think that I was happy in convent school because I learn more about my religion and was studying well than my answer is “no!”.
I was good at reading bible, even come first in catechism, but I was not good at studies. I was average student and everything which I achieved during that time was because I was pressurize by some of those people in society who thinks coming first and doing everything well makes you perfect.
Conclusion:–I am not saying that whatever breakdown I have gone through is because of my convent education. I am saying that I have turned into different personality because I have been through a bad learning environment.Present teaching environment in India is much better than what it was 10 yrs earlier. Today when there are many teenage suicide cases and teenage crimes ,Government in India have put so much rules and restrictions on teachers that they can’t even scold us, when we are really doing something wrong.
I being raised in such safe family and religious environment that I never thought of doing anything wrong that could hurt my family, teachers and friends. Whenever I look back in my life at those pity incidents when I felt down and depressed, I laugh out. Those at one time look big trauma, now seems so silly phase of life.