Sometimes when you spend much time in religious activities you started being thoughtful. Your thoughts can be moderate but your lifestyle remains same.
Catechism changed my spirit of beliefs. At times I started imaging myself like nun.
But it’s not your imagination that changes your character; it’s that circumstances that you go through. In those days I was also going through some new changes of my life. I was keeping my first step in womanhood.
There are things which you can’t ask your father; there are things you hide from your brother. There are many things which female species have and male don’t understand. When I got my first period I was just playing with my dolls and doll house.
Yes, I am talking about the changes that every person go through ,when they realize they are growing.
I felt little pain in my abdomen and it started. I was already aware that –kabhi Na kabhi toh ye hona tha. Because at those time the moral values class was unofficially turned into physical and mental education class. Even it turned out into most interesting class of those times. The girls discuss every physical change they experience during recess with their friends. I although trying to be ignorant because its sign that you are growing which I never wanted to be.
My mother and sister were keepers of my secret. They started escorting me at times of period like I was holding something underhanded. One day they told me its womanish thing and a universal secret. I don’t mind it at all but there were times like I felt offended of being girl.
They were like:-
• Not eating pickle ant touching pickle bottle.
• Not to play with male group especially at that time.
• Not to talk about your body problems openly.
• Don’t wear miniskirts.
• Don’t play in open area.
• Don’t keep your hairs open.
So many things prohibited that I protested some times.
I was not going to be nun that was for sure because I can’t survive these prohibitions, how will ever I follow their rule regulations. I was questioning why I have to grow so fast. My brother never had these problems as he was a boy. I know every human being go through physical changes sooner or later but like every girl I had many difficulties in accepting this universal truth. Especially the truth that young woman should be shy, do all household work and man / boy do all outside work and enjoy their life without having pain in abdomen.
I have also started noticing my body transformation both outer and inside. One the funniest things that happen were sudden change in my undergarments (underwear) actually…
Till fifth grade we girls wore baggy bloomers …but after these periods and womanhood thing happened, my mother bought for me new panties. These are general things now, but at that age getting rid of those baggy bloomers was really like feeling grown up. Especially when you study in girls convent school you can’t escape uniform checking, because they even check what you wear inside. Sometimes you really feel embarrassed when they see what color bloomer you wear.
I was enjoying the new woman hood era I was stepping in. But sometimes the guidance I get from our elders like mother, sisters, aunties etc they real terrorize my mind like early pregnancy / teenage pregnancy due to unsafe sex, rapes, etc and all hidden secrets of womanhood.
Today when everything is so modernize, I know girls have become more conscious of these changes. They take more care about it and every latest version of information that once I don’t have in my time, i.e. 10 yrs before. I have even heard that C.B.S.E schools had made compulsory physical education class rather I should say sex education class for teenager to make them aware of sex diseases like STD, AIDS etc. But during my days only science class and internet was our information source.
PS: – These are changes that every girl goes through; we should not feel ashamed of what we are. This is how God made us. Periods and womanish things are still not discussed openly at some places. A lot taboo is made on girls. I have gone through it all and still facing it. But you know I am proud of whatever gift God has given me.